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Dulcé Sloan

Appearances

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

1021.817

How does that happen? People would say, but Van, look at how much progress black people have made since Martin Luther King. Surely things have gotten better. Black people on the up in America.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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That's an interesting point of view, and I guess I know a lot of people argue back on that, and they'll say, well, I mean, Obama became president, fam, so, I mean, that's progress, isn't it?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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Here's something that I really connected with, and I guess because of South Africa's history and also because it is International Women's Day, is this beautiful quote in the article. Women have been the backbone of the whole civil rights movement. This popular narrative of the civil rights movement too often relies on great men, the great men version of history.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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King, Malcolm X, Thurgood Marshall, Stokely Carmichael, other names. And it ignores the importance of women who also organized and led the movement and shows how their contributions have been sidelined, hidden in plain sight. That is a powerful narrative that many people forget. And that is Coretta Scott King wasn't just a sidekick. She wasn't just the woman at home.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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Why do you think it's so important to acknowledge these women and what were they instrumental in doing in many movements?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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That's powerful.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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And so when you look at these stories, how do you think it plays out? Because Martin Luther King exists in a place where some people use him to stage a protest and others go, we should use him to sell trucks in America. Everyone sees him in a different light. If Martin Luther King were around today from what you have read and what you've learned, like how happy do you think he would be?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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Would he think people have reached a mountaintop?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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For more on Dr. King's legacy, we turn now to Dulcé Sloan, everybody. Dulcé, if Martin Luther King were here, where do you think he would stand on the government shutdown?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

238.676

Yeah, but then it wouldn't be on his birthday.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

247.841

What? I didn't know there was a civil rights... Anyway, never mind. Okay, while you're indoors today, what do you think and what are you remembering about Dr. King's legacy?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

301.404

Whoa, hold on, hold on. Even if that's true, I mean, that he had affairs, isn't it disrespectful to mention that on his birthday?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

335.035

I've never thought of MLK on Bumble.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

373.18

What is Martin Luther King Day, and how should people celebrate it? Well, for more on this, we turn to a man who has had many dreams that no one wants to hear about. Roy Wood Jr., everybody!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

462.409

Yeah, Roy, you know, what makes it worse is that if you read Dr. King's speeches, you'll see that, like, he was opposed to consumerism and wasteful capitalism.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

496.101

You know, it actually is unfortunate, because it seems like some white people are out of touch with Dr. King's legacy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

680.282

So Roy, we've seen people mess it up, you know, with sales or, you know, with their own agendas. But what is the proper way to celebrate Dr. King's legacy?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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My guest tonight is an amazing writer at The Atlantic who helped produce a special commemorative issue of the magazine called King, a look at the life and legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. Please welcome Van Newkirk. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Man, I've been a fan of your writing for so long.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

742.622

You touch on so many different topics, you know, from Black Panther through to racism in America, the Second Amendment. One of the more interesting conversations that I got started because of your writing was specifically about teachers being armed. And you argued that in its very essence, it goes against the Second Amendment. Why would you make that argument?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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For what? That's a tyrannical government. Yeah. I never thought of that as an idea. I go, like, but, you know, it's one of those ideas where people go, like, this seems like a good idea because everything leads to more guns. You go, like, just give the people more guns, and then it solves the guns. Because if everyone has a gun, then I guess it means no one has a gun. I don't know how it works.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

816.229

Well, I give my gun a gun. Yeah, you give your gun a gun. That's the most important, because guns don't kill people. Right. People kill people. What about guns killing guns? I don't think a gun has ever, a gun has killed a gun. I saw that in a movie once. The gun shot the gun, and the gun... Yeah. No one talks about gun-on-gun violence.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

833.462

You have an interesting way of looking at the world, and this issue of the Atlantic, I think, looks at Martin Luther King from so many different places and through so many different lenses, which I really found interesting. Martin Luther King is one of those figures in America that I've always felt is mythologized and oftentimes misunderstood, and it feels like you've captured that in this article.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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Why did you think it was necessary to have an entire article about Martin Luther King Jr. ?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

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It's interesting that you say that because there was a specific... article or piece of it that connected with me, written by you. And it was specifically about the idea of Martin Luther King and his assassination. And you say here, in the official story told to children, King's assassination is the transformational tragedy in a victorious struggle to overcome.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

931.569

But in the true accounting, his assassination was one of a host of reactionary assaults by a country against the revolution. And those assaults were astonishingly successful. Yeah. That's an interesting point of view, because many people feel like Martin Luther King being assassinated was the beginning of the great journey that got black people to where they needed to be.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day

950.882

And you're arguing that it ended a revolution that was starting. How how do you prove that or why do you believe that?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

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But one day, Marian looked at her shower curtain and got an idea. I've got an idea. This can keep water from leaking out. Surely it could do the same for shit. So she got to work, designing a new, better diaper cover, which she called The Boater. I did it. I'm gonna liberate women from needless domestic work.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

146.421

Right after I buy a new shower curtain and clean up this mess before my husband leaves me. It was a hit. The diaper covers were flying off the shelves faster than black market birth control pills. And then came Marion's best idea yet, a fully disposable diaper with super absorbent material. Marion pitched her idea for fully disposable diapers to every large manufacturer in the country.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

170.114

But she soon found herself knee deep in something much worse than baby poop, sexism. What do you think? It's unnecessary. There's no market for this, you dumb lady. My wife loves washing diapers.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

219.717

Marian was desperate and at the end of her rope, so she did the unthinkable.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

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Yeah, but it should have.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

240.185

Exactly. Exactly. But while she may have been overlooked in her own time, Marion's contributions live on in homes, in daycares, in Target bathrooms where the diaper changing station is always broken and the baby's screaming and you're like, what do you want from me?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

285.014

Good evening, I'm Dulcé Sloan. And I'm Desi Lydic. Tonight, the story of Willie Mae Big Mama Thornton, a trailblazer whose trail was left brutally unblazed. What? It's the story of a forgotten woman never given her due. Why didn't you just say that the first time? I don't know. Growing up near Montgomery, Alabama, Willie May always had a passion for singing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

316.994

At the young age of 15, she won a singing contest and eventually signed a record deal.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

365.236

Willie May's soulful rendition of Hound Dog told the story of a good-for-nothing man who wants to be taken care of. It was like the great grandmother of no scrubs. See, a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. If I know, I think everyone knows.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

393.431

Willie May was shafted, but what she didn't know was that there was an even bigger shaft headed her way. And not the good kind.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

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A few years later, her precious, soulful hound dog found a new owner, a rising talent who was introduced to the song by a Vegas lounge act and decided to put his own spin on it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

426.168

By the way, that really happened.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

432.256

Elvis' version of Hound Dog was a huge smash and completely eclipsed Willie May's version. While Elvis didn't steal the song, he did benefit from a system that ensured his music reached a wider audience. You see, Elvis was a white man. Elvis went on to become one of the greatest icons of all time. But despite it all, Willie May never lost her gift for expressing emotion in song.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

469.509

Willie Mae Thornton was a talented artist who launched an iconic song only to have her legacy washed away. But we remember her. And you can't wash this away. Go ahead, Dulce. Show them yours. Uh, I told you I wasn't doing that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

602.332

Good evening. I'm Desi Lydic. And I'm Dulce Sloan. This month, we've been uncovering the true stories of women who were shafted. Because throughout history, women have been constrained by things like gender roles, cultural biases, and spanks. So, mm, constricting. Mm-hmm.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

644.889

You're going to give me $5, and then something good will happen to you. Oh, OK. OK. OK. Here you go. She even worked as a doctor, despite having no medical training. And what we want to do is we want to pour the tonic right over the abdomen. That looks like milk. Yes, no, of course it's milk. It'll make his stomach bones stronger.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

680.409

She started The Ladies Deposit, a woman-only investment fund. When Sarah doubled her clients' investments within a year, women started handing over their money like they were at a Ryan Gosling kissing booth.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

70.771

Good evening. I'm Dulcé Sloan. And I'm Desi Lydic. Tonight's episode is a familiar story. Big dreams crushed by the reality of reality.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

726.553

Sarah was running one of the first and most successful investment fraud schemes in history. She was basically Bernie Madoff in a bustle.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

749.704

My money was stolen by a woman? Oh, I'm so proud. But eventually, the ladies' deposit was exposed, and the police deposited Sarah into jail.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

769.554

Because half a century later, her legacy was stolen by a man named Charles Ponzi, who became the namesake of the very scheme Sarah perfected, the Ponzi scheme.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

792.788

Mother . But tonight we salute Sarah Howe, who shattered the glass ceiling of financial crime. Thanks to her, women everywhere can aspire to lie, cheat, and steal. Just like men.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women

97.874

Ugh, why is there so much shit everywhere? Why?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1005.023

Yeah, that's true. Not every person who listens to rap or wears a kimono or sings the chorus to Despacito is trying to steal someone else's culture.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1017.286

Well, you can definitely sing it, because you know you look like a Puerto Rican. Hola. But sometimes it crosses the line. Like when you get movies about white boys saving jazz or Miley Cyrus twerking, ugh. Hell, cultural appropriation is the only thing Taylor and Katy can agree on.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1044.766

Because, Trevor, it's when white people discover something that used to be considered ghetto. For example, look at Big Butts.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1066.755

Thank you. Big butts used to be considered undesirable, but since the Kardashians bought all of theirs, now everybody wants one. Ooh, and don't get me started on dreadlocks. When black people have them, they're discriminated against. They even get fired over it. But when white people have them, clothes fly off the racks. Look at this, this is a fashion show or is she an avatar?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1092.095

Baby, it's always Kendall Jenner.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1108.872

Mm-hmm. And that's the attitude they got my ancestors over here. These white men are trying to steal us. They're embracing us. Come on.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

1126.516

Okay, now, Trevor, Beyoncé is a bad example because she's a literal goddess. Come on. Forget culture, if Beyonce stole my identity, I wouldn't even press charges. I'd be like, thank you! It's an honor, here's my pin number, Beyonce! Look, Trevor, this is about equality. If minorities were equal, they wouldn't worry about people taking their culture because that wouldn't be all they have.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

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Look, white people, if you're going to appropriate, take everything. Take the good and the bad. You can take my struggle, too. Get pulled over for no reason, get followed through a store, and the next time there's a Black Lives Matter march, I want to see you there, Kendall. But don't worry about bringing that Pepsi, girl. We drink Sprite.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

484.172

Is that because of your behavior?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

945.156

What's going on, Dulcé? Thanks, Trevor. Yes, it's fashion week. And while we'll see some new looks, some things will never change. For example, we know at least one model will fail at her only job, walking down the runway. And that some designer's gonna try to sell us clothes they fished out of a dumpster. But the thing that gets the most attention every year is the cultural appropriation.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

976.757

That never goes out of style.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Fashion

982.338

Sure. It's when you take something that defines the culture that you're not a part of and profit off of it. The fashion industry does it all the time. They take from black culture, Native Americans, Asia, you name it. I mean, the models even appropriate their body dimensions from the aliens in Close Encounters.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

1018.963

When Chicago dentist Jonathan Freeman renovated his practice, he went all in drilling a big screen TV into the ceiling so his patients could watch shows. However, after spending a fortune on his giant TV, Dr. Freeman bought a discounted package deal from a company called Humpty.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

1037.317

Their direct-to-dentist package offers specialized TV shows licensed only for dentists with things you've never seen, like Truck Swap, the great Serbian baking show, and, of course, the last season of The Office. LAUGHTER At first, his patients were resigned to watching Humpty programming, but they started drifting to one show, The Secret Lives of Central Nova Scotian Wives.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

1067.844

Dr. Freeman's patients are so hooked on the show, they will do whatever it takes to get to the dentist. Patients are even opting out of anesthesia and raw-dogging their wisdom teeth surgeries to not miss out on episodes. They are considering moving the show from Humpty to a more popular streamer like Strevy or Smudge Direct. Are those real? Who can tell?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

2025.861

That it made their head hurt. That it made their heart hurt. That it made their eyes hurt.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

2052.078

$3,500.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

265.021

Really? Oh, my God. She gave her the rabbit.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

2802.263

iPhone.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

417.523

I'm not sure if, I think Tom Cruise might have died several years ago. This is all AI at this point. It might well be.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

512.94

Yay!

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

562.606

Pump them out.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Ego Nwodim

666.494

As a person with a child, I don't like this particular word.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

1000.017

in today's installment of, Hey, Get Off My Lawn, The Growing Phenomenon of Urban Wandering. Based on the British tradition of wandering through fields in the countryside called rambling, Americans have started taking back their environment by walking aimlessly through businesses and people's yards.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

1017.981

Rambling in the UK is protected by the right to roam law, allowing enthusiasts to access publicly and privately owned land because of centuries-old footpaths that predate modern property lines. Urban wandering, on the other hand, is a bunch of white people trespassing through a neighborhood they don't live in by jumping fences, walking through rose bushes, and then descending upon a Starbucks.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

1041.069

The leader of the Wandering Society of Eagle, Colorado stated, it's all right to enjoy the world we live in. Property lines are fictional. Nature is real. And so was the trespassing citation her group received after trudging through a gated community.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

122.641

Hello.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

134.36

Hi, Hari.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2224.045

But they're not handled that often. They're only handled once a year.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2239.103

Where's this Pixar movie?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2267.57

Hands...

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2313.31

Is this for other Russians?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2316.803

they're gonna get killed.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2320.445

Because they're gonna realize I can go outside and get sticks.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2499.925

Y'all wear it. You mean to tell me that there's people in here that act like that they wouldn't wear a dog hair? Too good for your own dog?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2561.851

I don't like this man. I don't like this man. I've never liked this man.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2565.634

A wisp of a man.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2567.636

Girl, I don't know what a man is going to fall through, a crack in the floor. I'm a whole woman.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2585.581

So, Timothee Chalamet.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2591.445

I can't wait until that boy hits puberty.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

262.865

Are these aliens? Do aliens have drones? I thought they had spaceships.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2638.685

So basically, we're just England in the 1500s. Right.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

272.489

This is too long for us to not know.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

275.791

But no, because we should have shot these down by now. I don't, as an American, I know we shoot first, ask questions, never.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2791.591

Get...

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2809.074

Average age?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

2867.781

All right.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

3121.585

Mr. Scrooge is going to wake up on Christmas morning and save TikTok.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

390.238

Also, it's just, like, Target shouldn't do this.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

395.38

No, because then you can look at all the times you went to Target and was like, I just need toilet paper, and then you spent $200. Right. Right.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

422.034

That's why I got rid of date naps, because every time I would open it, I'd be like, man, a whole city doesn't want to sleep with me. Let me put my phone down.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

442.254

I know I listen to Megan Thee Stallion the whole time. I don't need nobody to tell me that.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

560.046

All you had to be Catholic.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

561.667

Well, most of these comics are heathens.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

601.188

Let's see. Okay. So you could say that one they're doing is a fruit roll-up rolled in tahini. Then you could do it with chamoy or you could put a little glitter in it.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

622.627

I love torturing a pickle. Go ahead.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

638.174

Yeah, they make edible glitter.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

673.427

It's a vegetable.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

678.244

No, I'm a grown-up.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone

994.358

I am ready.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1287.88

You don't work up to it? You don't go like, I'm going to be irked first and then slightly annoyed, just straight to rage?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1517.095

It really is. Because he's more Louis Black than Aruba is Aruba. Exactly.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1781.313

Yay!

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1898.994

This is... Some people do. I know!

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1907.569

You know, they're heating the irons in the fireplace, as one does. Unless you're a really persnickety clan member. Who is ironing shit? No, this is great. I mean...

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

1988.318

Okay.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2057.907

Or is that what they're calling extra socializing?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2082.674

All right, now express that as a formula, where A is adult-trained.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2319.045

These guys make the MyPillow guy seem like Thomas Edison. Really true.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2405.828

I don't... I feel the other way about it. I don't want to talk to a dolphin. I don't trust anyone that smiles all the time. Yeah.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2502.239

Um, drones.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2536.088

Took him on the vacation he had when he was a kid?

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

2819.587

Adam Burke. Jeff Bezos is going to unroll Blue Origin Economy, where it's a square-shaped capsule. It's just Amazon delivery driver. Just become an Amazon delivery driver.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

285.858

I can't believe you figured out a way to work out, to include that you went to Harvard into that sentence.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

386.5

Yeah, isn't that the issue? Because that's the problem with people when they said, like, this is feminism and inspiration. If they just called it Space Brunch, nobody would have cared. You know what I mean? It's just zero-G karaoke. It would have been fine.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

413.92

I do love at one point they're up there and they're all taking selfies and someone gets their attention and goes, hey, everybody, look at the moon. Let's look at the one thing we can already see from the Earth.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

465.478

Also, Gayle King was defending this, and she said, you know, she said, look, this is actually, this is science, and this trip proves that we, one of the things that Blue Origin is trying to do is show that we can shoot waste products into space, which feels like a bit of a self-owned.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

560.805

I mean, urns are pretty transportable. Huh.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

WWDTM: Lewis Black

589.432

That's that Harvard panel. That's Harvard. In case Trump is listening, realness.

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

677.28

That's a good question. Is it like it lets itself get caught because it wants a lip piercing? Something like that.

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

688.45

Can I order Xanax salmon at the restaurant, and is that more?

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

858.042

When Irving Berlin wrote In Your Easter Bonnet with all the frills upon it back in 1933, little could he have imagined that his rocking ode to Vernal Millinery would still resonate with the youth some 90 years later. But so it is with some of the biggest influencers on social media, not only celebrating the colorful headgear, but making bank doing so.

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

879.261

I first did a shoot of me in a homemade Easter bonnet as a joke, says popular Instagrammer Tabitha Clack, who boasts two million followers online. When the pics proved a hit, high-end fashion supply company Seems Pricey reached out for a collab, as the kids say.

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

895.942

Before long, Clack realized she could fit multiple sponsors on a single bonnet, with one of her 2023 pieces sporting a bottle of air freshener, several candy brands, and a fifth of vodka all artfully attached to her festive crown. This in turn motivated the competition, with rival influencers trying to see how many promotional items they could cram onto their seasonally adorned noggins.

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WWDTM: Lewis Black

918.931

I might have overdone it last year, says beauty influencer Skylar Schaap, who somehow managed to attach five shoe brands and a compact air fryer onto her Easter 2024 bonnet, injuring her neck in the process. Undeterred, she plans to return this year with some Tylenol-branded haberdashery with matching neck brace, of course.