Chris Benderev
Appearances
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
He says, like, in a couple of years, you know, high school is going to end and you're going to all scatter to different jobs or colleges. And you're going to start falling out of touch with each other. And eventually you're not going to talk to most of any of these other people. And now you might... Can we just pause?
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Yeah, it's like suddenly he had our full attention.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
He said, like, well, then you're going to get into your 30s and your 40s and it'll be harder. You know, you'll be working and then, you know, some of you might get married. And your free time, a lot of that should go towards your spouse. And if you have kids, oh, like, whatever little free time you have left, like, that'll go to the kids. And finally, he said, like...
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
The only friends you're going to be left with are the parents of whatever kid your little toddler or whatever randomly sidles up to because they both like the same part of the playground. Like that person, that parent, that's going to be your friend.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Yes. By then we were like, I remember a sort of like stunned silence at that point. And maybe there's like one person who said like, no, or like, no, he's wrong, or we're going to stay friends or something. And then the class began and I don't remember anything else from that day.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Absolutely. I thought that he, I remember thinking, oh no, I hope that he's wrong. But it sounds like he's right. That's what I remember thinking. It had the air of truth. Like, partly because it was so specific. The playground detail, especially.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
tedious and small and narrow and boring. Because when you're in high school, what is better than hanging out with your friends? That was the best thing you could do. And so you're going to have less and less of that. And this tiny world where you don't even get to pick your friends, I don't know, that just seemed very sad at the time and scary a little bit.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
I was scared of the end of high school in a way that I think most 18-year-olds aren't. It seemed like this was going to be the beginning of the end. And so I became very kind of nostalgic and also fearful, like, you know, a doomsday clock or something was running down.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
A few, a few.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Three or four, three or four, and really only one that I see regularly.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Yes, he was absolutely right. He fully predicted my future.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
In fact, the only friends I've made recently are the parents of the other kids who were in my son's daycare.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
In some ways it is, but I like it. I really like it. I obviously like spending time with my kid and my wife and the people I made friends with that are the parents of the kids randomly assigned to my kid's daycare class. Yeah, they're delightful.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
You know, in my memory, he's sort of the standard issue, I don't know, tallish white guy coach with like neatly parted brown hair. And, you know, the bell rings, class is supposed to start. And we're all just, you know, talking over him, not listening. And he's trying to get class started. And I think he's getting understandably a little annoyed about
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
And then at one point, one of the girls said loudly, like, we're all going to be friends forever. And then he gets our attention and said something like, you know, just for your information, you're not going to all stay friends forever. And let me tell you a little bit about, like, how friendships work.